CardRunners

I was watching the first half of the FA cup 3rd round match between Liverpool and Preston North End when I heard the announcers mention that they felt PNE was "punching above their weight".  I had never heard that phrase before; certainly not used in a soccer match.  They were equating the phrase to playing above your head since PNE plays in a lower league with lesser players.  The phrasing stirred some interesting thoughts in my head about what it really means.  Do we all have an intrinsic weight class?  What does it really mean to play above our abilities?  Don't our abilities include the potential to reach higher? 

About the same time this morning, I read Gordo16's blog post about his plans for poker in 2009.  He detailed his rise in poker, his struggles, and his decision to step down and then out of poker.  While his journey isn't the first I've heard following a similar path, I just wondered how it might have been different.  Did punching above his weight lead to his present situation?

In poker, there are so many ingredients that go into being a long term winning player.  I've detailed mainy of these in my past blogs: discipline, knowledge, adaption, emotional control, game selection, bankroll management, and life balance.  The lack of any one of those areas is enough to derail long term success.  Tilt, ego, burn out, dissatisfaction, and extreme frustration are all after effects of the above stated areas being out of control.

While it's not everyone's goal to be involved with poker long term, if it is, it is important to devote sufficient attention to each area.  Someone can only 'punch above their weight' for so long before they get knocked out.  So it is beneficial to learn what your weight class is.  Self-knowledge is key.

In the end, Liverpool prevailed 2-0 and advanced to the 4th round.  The commentators felt is was a just result.  Liverpool was clearly the superior team by skill and reputation.  But as anyone who has watched the FA cup knows, having heart, desire, a few lucky bounces can have you "punching above your weight" and onto the next round.

I didn't even mention poker in my previous entry.  While playing low stakes poker doesn't really rank as a major newsworthy item in comparison to the major life areas I discussed, it is worth a little review nonetheless. 

1. Switching from NL to PLO - Last May, I finally chose to learn PLO.  I was always told by friends that I wouldn't take well to it because I'm a TAG style player by nature who doesn't like to gamble or have big swings.  I was intrigued and watched a number of videos on DeucesCracked and CardRunners.  That was enough to get me up to speed and off I went.

2. Two tabling - I became comfortable two tabling.  It's been a running joke with friends, but I have a very one on one mind.  For various reasons, I don't think I'll move to 4 tabling any time soon.  I don't use additional software so I like to pay attention and take notes on players.  I'm often working or messaging on the side.  When the tables are reduced in size I have trouble seeing some details, for instance the difference between hearts and diamonds.  Also in PLO you are having to make decisions for your whole stack regularly so I like to have time to consider the hands properly.

3. Swings - The largest swings I had playing NLHE over the last several years was 13 BI's on several occasions.  As evidence of the swingy nature of PLO, I've already had and recovered from a 25 BI swing.  Gambling players putting in their stacks as 30-40% dogs is extremely common, which when they hit often finds you down several BI's on a session.

4. FTP vs. UB - I have historically only played on UB.  While it gets a bad rap, I have consistently been profitable and problem free there.  This year I finally got rakeback on FTP and started playing PLO there.  Unfortunately, I run really badly on FTP versus UB.  While it's nice to be paid rakeback weekly, I have this very strange phenomena of losing it back within 24 hours of receiving it, and being profitable on most other days.  I don't quite understand what's going on there.  I don't know if I play differently because it seems like free money, but I've taken to not playing that first 24 hours after a payment.  It's great to have many more tables to choose from at FTP but consistently running below expectation in big pots is killing my enthusiasm for the site.  Unfortunately, the CEREUS changes have worsened my experience at UB.  There are no more tables available at PLO, the additional action is at NL, and the software is slower to load and play than before.

5.  Withdrawals and Payments -  This is probably the most satisfying area.  After not having made any withdrawals over the last couple years, my online bankroll has funded most of my employee payments as I've developed Poker Curious.  I also made my first significant withdrawal to help pay for Christmas and hospital payments.

6. Stakes - While I feel I have the skill to play higher, with my bankroll significantly reduced from the above withdrawals, I continue to play limited hours of $25 and $50 PLO.  Once Poker Curious finally launches, I won't play as much, but I hope as the site revenue increases that it won't be such a drain on my bankroll.

I've always played poker as a low stakes low stress hobby.  I don't think I'll ever burn out or lose the love for the game at the pace and level that I play.  I don't know when I'll return to NL, but I've enjoyed learning PLO.  Who doesn't like having the nuts.

This is the traditional time of year when you reflect on the past year and project to the new year.  I've never been one for New Year's resolutions, they always struck me as an artificial imposition that few live up to.  But, this year it feels like I should engage in the practice.  Because, frankly, I've slipped.  When I look at myself in the mirror, I'm not who I used to be or who I can be.  I can be better.  This applies to all areas of my life.

2008 was a challenging year for me in most areas of my life.  While I think that I battled pretty well in the face of adversity, as the year went on I lost momentum and initiative.  The last few months I've settled and not always put my best foot forward.  Sure I had some significant excuses, but those are departing.  I'll break down several of the areas to which I'm referring.

My health:  On January 5th, I have my 6 week checkup from the back surgery.  This was the recovery from surgery time period I was told before I could resume more normal activity.  It has been 28 months of not feeling my old self, but the surgery has so far corrected all the sciatica issues.  While I was in pain all that time, I found myself using it as an excuse to not do much of anything.  I want to resume walking again.  I used to walk regularly with my wife and enjoyed it. After my appointment, I will meet with some physical rehab people to put together an exercise regiment to strengthen my core.  I need to build in the discipline to not just sit in my computer chair for hours every day.  I've been given a second chance and I need to make the most of it.

My family:  With my switch from my 12 years at my gallery in Portland to the internet poker business world, I now spend most of my days in my home office.  My twenty plus months at CardRunners was extremely busy and I transferred that same work rate and long hours into the development of Poker Curious.  But I found I use the excuse of work as a crutch to isolate myself.  I can certainly balance time with the family better with the work required for the new site.

My work:  I've allowed my identity to be too tied to my work.  I am more than Poker Curious, but it's all everyone asks about.  As the months have dragged on, my productivity has diminished.  I find myself wasting time as I wait for coding elements to be completed.  I procrastinate out of my frustration with the slow progress.  My long hours at the computer involve more distraction than progress, because I feel helpless at times to advance the cause.  Every day we draw closer to its eventual launch, but I need to re-energize myself for the final push. 

My finances:  It has been hard on my family for me to be effectively unemployed this year.  Fortunately, we have had the discipline to cut back spending and not build up significant debt.  But when you have a wife and kids, they want to 'support the economy' in many ways and it's hard on me to have to deny them.  Poker Curious will take time to build revenue, like any new business, so there is no instant cure for this problem.  In fact, it will get worse very soon as our insurance and severance lapses.  While it isn't hard for me to deny outlays for myself, it is hard for my family.  I definitely want to be more financially sound as we move further into 2009.

No one likes to be disappointed with themselves.  It is hard to live up to our potential.  We all rationalize our deficiencies.  I know I do.  But I need to stop making internal excuses and start taking concrete steps to improve the situation.  I want to be healthy.  I want to spend positive time with my family.  I want Poker Curious to launch and to prosper in 2009.  I can be better, and I will make it happen. 

Happy New Years to each of you.  May each of you have a wonderfully healthy, enjoyable and prosperous New Year.

A quick thanks to those who gave helpful suggestions for my trojan computer problems.  I did some more research and found a program called ComboFix that helped improve the situation and I've been continuing to comb through it with some of the other suggestions people made.

Tonight, I wanted to give some love to a satellite channel that I receive, WorldLink TV.  While I don't watch it regularly, they have some great world music videos that introduce so much wonderful music that never makes it into the mainstream.  So much of the TV and music programming we are exposed to is so homogenized that it's refreshing to hear something different.  The episode that I caught tonight featured African artists.  They had videos by K'naan (a Somali rapper), Michael Franti and Spearhead (reggae fusion), Balance (Cape Verde songstress), Shaluza Max (South African dance music),and a couple personal favorites that I've seen live multiple times Angelique Kidjo (Benin soulful songstress) and Habib Koite (Malian guitar maestro).  They each have a unique sound and very catchy pleasing elements to their music.  I recommend you click through their names to view their videos on WorldLink, if you are curious about hearing new good music.

I've embedded a couple Michael Franti and Spearhead songs because I couldnt' find any on their website.

I graduated from Bucknell University in Lewisburg, Pennsylvania in 1989.  I continue to be amazed nearly 20 years later at how persistent they are in contacting me to solicit.  I think most schools do it nowadays, but year after year I receive multiple phone calls, letters and emails.  I have yet to give a donation, but somehow they don't seem to catch a hint.   Every semester, I get the perfunctory call from the spunky sounding female coed.  I get the yearly school calendar, the alumni newsletter, the invitations, and the regular requests for donations.

It's not that I have anything against the school.  I valued the education I received there.  It broadened me as a person and introduced thoughts I had never considered.  But, I can't say that they have assisted me in any way since my graduation.  I never attained a position solely on the merits of attending that school or received any career guidance from them.  Possibly due to my career and geographic independence, I have never been able to leverage that relationship to my benefit.  My family paid a considerable amount for me to attend this good liberal arts school.  I never received any scholorships or student aid during my four years.

What obligation do I have to give money continually through the years?  I've had no contact with most of my graduating class or attended any reunions.  I live across the country and don't have the opportunity to revisit the school.  I've never reached a level of affluence where I can freely donate money to various causes that aren't particularly dear to me. And yet, they keep asking.

I have to give them credit, though, they are improving their presentation.  Today I received this Bucknell email from the University president.  It is a memory lane wintry visit of Bucknell (advance by clicking the pictures).  The better the presentation, the more likely I'll be to check it out quickly, but it's difficult to reattach to something that happened 20 years ago.  I am appreciative of the experience and education which was dearly paid for, but I'm afraid that if I don't come into some serious money later in my life that they will likely never see another dime.

Until just now, I hadn't stepped outside my house in 10 days.  Portland, which isn't known for much snow, has had consistent snow over that period.  Due to my back recovery, I can't shovel and walking on icy uneven surfaces isn't recommended.  The load has fallen on my wife to deal with the vehicles and shoveling.  Today, I had had enough and decided we would tag team the latest effort.  The latest few days of build up was 8 inches of powder, one inch of solid ice, then another 10 inches of powder.  I took a couple mediocre photos of my car and hers in the background but the whiteout washed out the lighting.


After an hour, we unburied her van and got it defrosted.  Our driveway was only partially cleared, but we made some headway.  In the hour since, there is nearly another inch and more is on the way.  Fortunately, we don't have any plans  to go anywhere and had done a major shop before the storms hit.  The kids play in the snow several times a day with the neighbor kids while we stay holed up inside.  Unfortunately, Poker Curious progress has been snowed under too with some technical delays, which doesn't raise my spirits, but its part of the process.  I've tried to take a few days away to clear my head and not take it personally.

(edit: although I've uploaded the pictures to the CR server as always, they are not appearing - sorry)

Several months ago, when I was in my reading phase and out of books one day, I picked up The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell.  I had tried reading it a couple years ago when it was given to me, but I didn't find it that interesting.  This time I vowed to plow through it regardless.  I still don't feel it's his best work, but it had some interesting points. 

The one idea I want to talk about today is the concept behind six degrees of separation.  It has become ingrained in pop culture from the Kevin Bacon six degrees of separation game.  But it all started by a study in the late 1960's by Stanley Milgram who wanted to better understand how people are connected.  What was remarkable about the study was that although most people aren't widely connected, they were able to socially connect with any random person in the US within 5 to 6 levels of separation. 

How was this possible?  Most of us don't have particularly broad and diverse groups of friends.  We tend to associate with those in close proximity to ourselves.  When asked, we'll say we associate with those who we share similar attitudes, but the reality is often that it is more a factor of convenience, proximity and shared activities than of similar attitudes.  As Malcom stated "We're friends with the people we do things with, as much as we are with the people we resemble.  We don't seek out friends, in other words.  We associate with the people who occupy the same small, physical  spaces that we do."  The key issue in making these connections is that all degrees are not equal.  Most of us still do have a small number of associations, but there are special people that he calls 'connectors' that accelerate the wide connection process.

The perfect person that I can use to illustrate this point of being a connector is CR's very own Spudt24.  He is but one member of over ten thousand, but I would argue that in a six degrees of separation game that he would connect more people than most others within CR.  He holds all the classic qualities that Gladwell attributes super connectors.  He is affable and easy to get along with.  He naturally connects with many people easily.  He likes exploring and trying new things.  His job has him traveling the country regularly interacting with many different people.  He makes an effort to reach out to people.  He is is part of that rare group that would be the ideal connectors to accelerate connections with many random groups of people within 5 or 6 steps.

The one element that Gladwell doesn't deal with in The Tipping Point is the internet.  In the internet age, the physical proximity issue is almost mute.  At the flick of a key or mouse, we can connect with almost anyone anywhere.  We can maintain contact with a much wider range of people.  In some ways, it could be argued that I have more friends and acquaintances online than off.  Granted that I am older, settled with family, and more homebound than someone in their early 20's, but I think the point is still valid.  We can support and nurture these online connections by 'real world' get togethers, but the main mode of communication and interaction is the internet.  The geographical distances prevent regular physical interactions, but allow us to connect online easily.  Over time this will probably revolutionize the six degrees of separation paradigm into being able to connect with anyone anywhere in the world in fewer connections, maybe as little as 3-4 degrees.

Yesterday, after seeing the new CR blog formats, I scrolled down the page to see 55 pages of previous entries (55 x 10 = 550 entries).  That number greatly surprised me because I only started my blog May 22nd of 2007.  I know that until David B came along I was likely the most prolific blogger on the featured page, but 550 entries in 570 days isn't remotely close to the reality of it after my pace slowed this year after leaving CR.  So I went back and starting going through the blogs.

It turns out that parts of two other blogs were merged into my history.  One I can take credit for, the other I can't.  When the new CR site and blog software rolled out months ago I had noticed a few TrevRob blogs mixed in with mine.  They are obviously his as they talk more poker, resolving to do something, then resolving to do something else, and offering some good advice for newer players.  The other entries that were grouped in with mine are from the 2007 WSOP.  I kept the official CR blog that followed CR members while I was in Vegas.  I would update it several times a day during that 10 day period.  

The title of my very first blog was "Tales from the Middle Ages" (as I had just turned 40). 

The first lines...
Confession no. 1 - I have never wanted to have a blog.
Confession no. 2 - I have never written a single entry in a diary in my life.
Confession no. 3 - I have never enjoyed being in the spotlight.

It's interesting to look back on the experience.  I never knew that I would enjoy it so much.  I started it to show and inspire other people that you can blog regularly, and ended up showing myself that I have a voice.  It wasn't the most popular blog.  It wasn't the most poker appropriate.  Rodeo often complained that my blogs were too long and wordy (tl;dr).  It wasn't filled with images and videos (except the occasional Friday music videos).  It was just my thoughts, observations and shared life experiences.   Most people expected me to quit the blog after my February departure from CardRunners.  But after a hiatus, I resumed it with similar gusto.  It has been a good outlet to share my journey with Poker Curious.  The site development has taken longer than I expected but we are in the home stretch now.   I'll be blogging on the new site, possibly double posting it here, so I hope those who have enjoyed it come visit me there in a few weeks.